How to be a good houseguest

How to be a good houseguest.....

Rules each houseguest should know and follow if they expect to be invited back for another visit.

Come visit us again!

Who doesn’t want to hear that phrase after they’ve just visited family or friends? Ideally, it should be uttered with a smile. Not the tight, controlled smile that tells you someone is being polite. No, I’m talking about the loose, genuine smile that says they really had fun and want you to return...anytime.

Unfortunately, for the most part, everyone overstays their welcome.

It’s hard to keep both the host and guests happy for more than a day, but, with a little prior thought and creativity, both can be accommodated very nicely. Follow these guidelines to become the perfect houseguest.

The number one rule: don’t arrive early–or late. If you’re arrival time is on Saturday morning, don’t show up Friday night. Unless the possibility of your arrival time moving up is part of the arrangements, do not pop in unexpectedly. And for heaven’s sake, don’t be late. For every minute that you’re tardy, your host will be envisioning a horrible crash or some equally disastrous problem. Call if you think there’s a possibility that you won’t arrive on time.

No matter how short your stay, always bring a gift. Always. There are no exceptions to this rule. Though it may be difficult to chose the right gift, any gift is better than nothing at all. When in doubt, liquor is always acceptable, unless you already know the host or hostess is dead set against liquor: then it would be the worst gift you could possibly show up with. Do your homework.

Food can be an iffy gift, depending on your host. Whatever you do, don’t show up with a teeny-tiny little cheesecake that can’t possibly feed you and your family as well as the host’s family. Your host may feel slighted. After all, he’s giving you full overnight accommodations. Think in terms of quantity as well as quality before you buy. Do ask ahead. Bake or purchase something the host prefers, not something you prefer. And, finally, even if it’s your favorite recipe and your husband’s mouth is watering for a piece of it, do not suggest when it’s a good time for the host to serve it. What he does with the gift is entirely up to him. You did bring it for him, didn’t you? If he doesn’t suggest it be cut into, he may not like that particular goodie. Whatever you do, don’t make him admit it. That makes the gift useless, and forces the host to feel less than gracious.

A plant makes a nice gift, so does a set of plush bathroom towels. Do not purchase anything cute, like a stature of a little boy peeing on the grass, or a talking fish plaque for the den. You may think it’s great; your host may hate it.

Remember your host has gone through a lot of trouble to have you over, despite what he says, so always be polite. Eat a little bit of what is served, and bring favorite snacks for children, who may be picky eaters. Offer to help with the cooking and clean-up and be prepared to do so.

If you’ll be using the host’s swimming pool, it wouldn’t hurt to bring your own towels. After a day or two, your host will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Don’t bring Sparky along. If you do, and your host is good enough to allow your pet access to his home, keep a close eye on Sparky. No matter what your host says, keep Sparky in a kennel–preferably in the garage. Your host is probably just being kind, and one night in the garage won’t kill Sparky. Dogs will be dogs, and let’s face it...they have accidents, they smell, and sometimes they scratch holes in carpets and jump on furniture. Believe me, that’s enough to kill your chances of ever being asked back.

The same goes for children. If you’ve been invited, your host already knows you have children. That doesn’t mean you can let them run wild. That means keep a closer eye on them than you do at home. You and your child already know all the rules at home. Children don’t necessarily know it applies to other houses, and your rules may not be as strict as your host’s rules are. Don’t let baby run through the house with a cracker, cookie, or other snack. In fact, don’t let baby run through the house, period.

Pick up after yourself. Be a neat freak. Your hostess will adore you for that. Make the bed when you get up, put your toothbrush away after using it, don’t leave your suitcases in the living room, even if you’re sleeping on the couch. Ask if there is a closet you can use. Would you want your house looking like a hotel lobby?

No matter how long your stay, find time to retreat to your room for several hours each day. Give your hostess some breathing space. They have a routine that you probably have just screwed up royally. Trust me on this one, you’ll both need a breather from time to time.

Make it clear to your host, long before you arrive, what you intent to get out of this vacation. For instance, let your host know that you plan on doing some family things alone with the kids–if that’s what you want. Or that you would like your host’s family to join you when you go to Disney Land. Whatever your plans, make sure no one is surprised. An itinerary makes things a lot easier on everyone. There’s nothing more depressing than promising your kids a fun-filled day at the zoo and finding out your host has already purchased tickets for the ballet and is insisting the entire family really must go.

If you are staying more than one day, you have a responsibility to the host to invite them to dinner. You may ask what restaurants are good in the area, but ultimately you make the decision on how much you would like to pay for dinner. Your hostess will be glad to get out of the kitchen, and so will you.